Bullet to the Head

Bullet to the Head

Bullet to the Head is an ode to the kind of movies director Walter Hill (The Warriors, 48 Hrs.) and star Sylvester Stallone used to make in their 1980s heyday. Even though this is their first time collaborating, the two are clearly cut from the same cloth; worse, they both share in the delusion that modern audiences want to relive mediocre action cinema. The Expendables films at least have the gimmick of uniting some of the biggest action movie heroes of the 80s and 90s, but Bullet to the Head brings things back to a tired buddy cop scenario, pairing Stallone with Sung Kang (The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift) as the unlikely duo goes out for revenge. This film would have been terrible even among its competition if it was released thirty years ago, but it's especially awful when dumped in the early months of the 2013 movie landscape.

Bullet to the Head
Director: Walter Hill
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Sung Kang, Jason Momoa, Christian Slater, Sarah Shahi

Sly plays Jimmy Bobo, a hitman with a conscience whose partner is killed in the opening minutes by a ruthless mercenary (Jason Momoa) after a job didn't go exactly as planned. Bobo wants revenge, but get this: his old school ways don't mesh with the tech-savvy methods of the Asian detective (Kang) who teams up with him to get to the bottom of all this, which - as you can imagine - results in some totally hiLARious banter between the two of them. There's a half-baked plot about land development and bribing Senators that's supposed to justify the existence of Christian Slater and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje's villainous characters, but we all know from the trailers that the real showdown comes in the form of an ax battle between Stallone and Momoa in a condemned warehouse. Did I mention Stallone's character has an estranged tattoo artist daughter (Sarah Shahi) who gets kidnapped and then becomes the de facto love interest for the straight-laced detective?

(*sighs, drops chin to chest, closes eyes, rubs bridge of nose*)

Stallone scowls and mumbles through his lines in tones so low it's as if his throat has been replaced with a pit of gravel, but he manages to do a decent job of selling his performance considering how terrible the script is. He delivers some of the most generic voiceover narration ever committed to the page and fires off racist, stereotypical, and ignorant comments about Kang's ethnicity as quickly as he pulls the trigger on brutal headshots. It's Rush Hour minus the personality of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, but instead of being funny, the insults in Bullet to the Head are so politically incorrect they come off as cringe-inducing.

Kang doesn't seem to care what's happening, but he isn't miscast so much as his entire character should be cut out of the film. He shines as the laid-back Han in the Fast and Furious movies while he plays off of meatheads like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, but when he's left alone to deal with Stallone's rouge tough guy behavior, he's way out of his element. As an actor, he doesn't seem to get the vibe the old guys on set are going for, and he seems as out of place as this movie does being set in New Orleans. (Characters wander through a jazz band performing in the street just to ram the point home). Momoa and Agbaje are all physicality and no charisma, and though Christian Slater tries his best as a whiny bad guy, you can never shake the feeling that he, like this entire film, belongs in another era.

Even though the movie is bad, at least it quickly bounds from one set piece to another, and Stallone leaves such a trail of blood in his path that his devotees might actually find a few moments enjoyable. Considering Hill is a relic from another time, though, I was expecting the action to be a lot more coherent; instead, he seems to have fallen prey to fast cutting and overbearing musical cues, so we're robbed of any memorable action beats. The sound design is an aural assault, with every punch sounding as if it would kill the recipient upon delivery, and though the characters don't react realistically to the violence they encounter, I wouldn't be surprised if you felt bruised walking out of the theater. It's clear Hill wants you to feel something, but I'm not sure that "annoyance and a headache" meet his criteria. Despite the movie's overwhelming shortcomings, credit goes to Hill and his team for bringing the film in at a brisk 90 minutes.

I'm sorry to disappoint those who hoped the teaming of Hill and Stallone would result in recapturing a slice of action cinema's past glory, but Bullet to the Head should have stayed in the chamber. Until next time... Ben's Movie Reviews

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Movie Review : Looper

Movie Review : Looper

I recently reviewed Rian Johnson's Looper, which is out now on DVD and Blu, for the good people at Flick Feast:

Rian Johnson’s time travel thriller arrives on DVD and Blu-ray this week and while it isn’t quite the ground-breaking Matrix-esque Sci-Fi spectacle that it was initially billed as, it is nonetheless an impressively atmospheric and engrossing movie.

You can read the full review by clicking below:
Flick Feast : Looper
Cinema Paradiso - Movie Reviews And Ramblings

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Download Khiladi 786 Full Movie Free

Download Khiladi 786 Full Movie Free

Download Khiladi 786 Full Movie Free. Bollywood's 2012 released Action, Comedy film Khiladi 786 is Directed by Ashish R Mohan.  If you are a fan of Akshay Kumar, you will enjoy this masala potboiler. If not, we highly recommend you skip this slapstick comedy.

    

 6.2

Khiladi 786 Movie

Genre: Action | Comedy

Release Date: December 7, 2012

Director: Ashish R Mohan

Producer: Akshay Kumar

Music Director: Himesh Reshammiya

Storyline:

Khiladi 786 Movie Free Download. Born to an owner of a marriage bureau Champak Lal, Mansukh has been a complete failure ever since he has grown up and tried to help his father in their family business. All the alliances he had tried to get done have resulted in separation even before the marriage took place. To prove his worth to his father, he takes up an unusual challenge of getting an underworld don TT bhais spoilt brat sister Indu getting married to a cop called Bahattar Singh aka Khiladi 786 in Punjab.

Source: IMDb, Wikipedia

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Miami Connection

Miami Connection

If you're the type of moviegoer who enjoys films that are poorly made, terribly acted, only semi-competent in executing action sequences, but ones with tons of charm and enthusiasm, Miami Connection just might be your new favorite movie. Made in 1987 and promptly forgotten, someone at Drafthouse Films bought a copy of it using Ebay and is now releasing it for the world to see. The plot involves a synth-rock band named Dragon Sound full of Tae Kwan Do black belts who battle drug lords and a gang of motorcycle-riding ninjas to stop the cocaine trade in Orlando. And the final product totally lives up to that ridiculous premise.

Miami Connection

Co-writers/co-directors: Y.K. Kim, Richard Park

Starring: Y.K. Kim, Vincent Hirsch, Kathy Collier, William Eagle

Miami Connection is the brainchild of co-writer, co-director, producer, and star Y.K. Kim, who makes a living off screen as a martial arts grandmaster, inspirational speaker, and dojo owner in Orlando. On screen he plays Mark, an easygoing backup guitarist for Orlando's own Dragon Sound who is far better at martial arts than he is at playing the guitar. John (Vincent Hirsch), the lanky bass player, is in love with the group's female singer Jane (Kathy Collier), and all goes well until Jane's jealous brother Jeff (William Eagle) - known for hanging with a rough crowd - gets involved and starts muscling John out of the picture. Unbeknownst to Dragon Sound, Jeff is involved with a gang of cocaine dealing ninjas based in Miami, and when they team with the scorned band that Dragon Sound ousted at the club where they play their music...you can smell the street fights already.

The action bounces back and forth between being totally sanitized and gruesomely violent with no warning and zero consistency, which actually becomes sort of fun after you get used to it. You never know whether someone is going to get kicked in the chest or beheaded, and with either one a possibility at all times, it makes enduring some of the more questionable elements of these scenes (things like lighting, camera placement, and editing) a bit easier to swallow. The settings for action scenes also vary drastically, ranging from some sort of low-lying marshland to a railroad station to what appeared to be a combination of a castle and a junkyard. As someone who lived in Orlando for a year in the 2000s, I assure you that no such place still exists (if it ever did in the first place).

But in spite of these flaws (or perhaps because of them), no other movie so earnestly wears its heart on its sleeve, and the genuine affection for the filmmaking shines through even though it certainly doesn't live up to generalized standards of being a "good" movie. (That's a whole separate topic covered by Matt Singer at Criticwire.) From the lyrics of the band's amazingly-terrible-yet-catchy-as-hell songs (things like "Tae Kwon Do is our way of life") to the wise old restaurant owner character who tells the group the true meaning of martial arts, it's clear that Kim was using this film as a vehicle for spreading the gospel of his art. Miami Connection is the rare action movie with a mission statement, and as cheesy as it gets at times (OK, the entire time), there's just something about it where you can't help but smile.

The acting is excruciatingly bad and the over-dubbed voices are godawful, reminiscent of the director's work on a film called L.A. Streetfighter from a couple of years prior. The plot doesn't even try to make sense much of the time, and extended sequences of the band cruising the beach trying to pick up chicks or practicing martial arts on the University of Central Florida campus seem to be just things that these actors would normally be doing anyway, regardless of whether a camera was there to see it or not. (Only two members of the cast were actually professional martial artists, and the rest were students at Kim's school.)

The movie raises so many more questions than it answers, and if you're open to films like these, you'll likely have a blast with your friends laughing about the inconsistencies and questioning character motivations. It's a ludicrous film, but the unadulterated passion that went into making it somehow takes it to another level. It's not nearly as audacious as Buckeroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension, another film that featured the lead characters in an 1980s rock band, but it's not trying to be; the only think Y.K. Kim wants the audience to get from this is that maybe, just maybe, Tae Kwan Do could be the answer to life's problems. If you're looking for something fun and insane to watch, Miami Connection could be the answer to yours. Until next time...

Ben's Movie Reviews

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Watch Two Can Play That Game 2001 Online Free Full Movie no Download

Watch Two Can Play That Game 2001 Online Free Full Movie no Download

Watch Two Can Play That Game 2001 Online Free Full Movie no Download



Title : Two Can Play That Game
Released : 2001-09-07
Runtime : 90 Minutes
Genre : Drama| Romance| Comedy
MPAA Rating : R
IMDB : Two Can Play That Game Movie
Studio : Screen Gems
Director : Mark Brown
Actors : Vivica A. Fox, Lee Anthony, Morris Chestnut, Anthony Anderson, Cherise Leana Bangs

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Barcelona vs El real streaming 30 january 2013

Barcelona vs El real streaming 30 january 2013

Barcelona vs El real streaming 30 january 2013 Real Madrid v Barcelona live score starts on 30.01.2013 at 21:00 UTC time at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu stadium in Copa del Rey, Spain. Here on SofaScore livescore you can find all Real Madrid vs Barcelona previous results sorted by their H2H matches. Last Real Madrid vs Barcelona match has been played on 07.10.2012 in LIGA BBVA and the final result was Barcelona 2:2 Real Madrid. Real Madrid - currently ranked on 3. place in LIGA BBVA - last match won 4 â€" 0 against Getafe - results in last 10 matches: won 5 matches, drawn 3 matches and lost 2 matches - scored 25 goals and conceded 11 goals in last 10 matches - more than 2.5 goals have been scored in 7 of last 10 matches - have scored in 9 of last 10 matches Barcelona - currently ranked on 1. place in LIGA BBVA - last match won 5 â€" 1 against Osasuna - results in last 10 matches: won 8 matches, drawn 1 matches and lost 1 matches - scored 34 goals and conceded 11 goals in last 10 matches - more than 2.5 goals have been scored in 9 of last 10 matches - have scored in 10 of last 10 matches Real Madrid Barcelona betting facts based on last 14 head-to-head matches - in their last 14 H2H matches Real Madrid won 3 matches, Barcelona won 6 matches, and 5 matches finished without winner. - Real Madrid scores on average 1.36 goals per match, Barcelona scores 2 goals per match. - More than 2.5 goals have been scored in 71.43% of matches between these two teams Event details: NAME: Real Madrid-Barcelona DATE: January 30, 2013 TIME: 20:00 UTC VENUE: Estadio Santiago Bernabeu STREET: Avenida de Concha Espina, 3, 28036 Madrid, Spain barcelona to madrid, madrid e barcelona, madrid to barcelona, where can i see barcelona vs real madrid, madrid versus barcelona, el barca vs real madrid, barca versus real madrid, madrid vs barcelona vivo, online madrid barcelona, real madrid e barcelona directo

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Download Wreck-It Ralph Full Movie Free

Download Wreck-It Ralph Full Movie Free. Hollywood's 2012 released Animation, Comedy, Family Movie Wreck-It Ralph is Directed by  Rich Moore. A video game villain wants to be a hero and sets out to fulfill his dream, but his quest brings havoc to the whole arcade where he lives.

    

 8.3

Wreck-It Ralph Movie

Genres: Animation | Comedy | Family

Official Sites: Official site | Official site [Canada]

Release Date: 2 November 2012 (USA)

Also Known As: ?????????? ????

Rated PG for some rude humor and mild action/violence

Storyline:

Wreck-It Ralph Full Movie Free Download. Wreck-It Ralph (voice of Reilly) longs to be as beloved as his game's perfect Good Guy, Fix-It Felix (voice of McBrayer). Problem is, nobody loves a Bad Guy. But they do love heroes... so when a modern, first-person shooter game arrives featuring tough-as-nails Sergeant Calhoun (voice of Lynch), Ralph sees it as his ticket to heroism and happiness. He sneaks into the game with a simple plan -- win a medal -- but soon wrecks everything, and accidentally unleashes a deadly enemy that threatens every game in the arcade. Ralph's only hope? Vanellope von Schweetz (voice of Silverman), a young troublemaking "glitch" from a candy-coated cart racing game who might just be the one to teach Ralph what it means to be a Good Guy. But will he realize he is good enough to become a hero before it's "Game Over" for the entire arcade?

Source: IMDb, Wikipedia

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Zero Dark Thirty

Zero Dark Thirty

After winning the Academy Award for Best Picture for The Hurt Locker in 2010, Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal are back with a film about the United States' ten year hunt for Osama bin Laden. Though we already know the outcome, Boal and Bigelow manage to make the film riveting, suspenseful, and intense throughout, similar to the way Ben Affleck thrilled audiences with his own political period piece, Argo, earlier this year. Based on firsthand accounts from people who were involved at every step of the real story, Boal uses his background as an investigative journalist to take us inside the search for the world's most dangerous man and, though a bit of dramatic license is occasionally taken, show how finding him came down to the fortitude of a single woman.

Zero Dark Thirty
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Starring: Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Mark Strong

Jessica Chastain plays Maya, a CIA agent recruited out of high school assigned to track down bin Laden. She meets up with Dan (Jason Clarke), a no-nonsense soldier who spends his days torturing detainees for information. In the early minutes of the movie, Dan makes Maya an accomplice in this behavior and though she clearly doesn't enjoy it, she realizes that this dirty work done behind closed doors is an integral part of finding their target. It's a star-making performance for Clarke, who shined on the short-lived FOX TV series "The Chicago Code" and as one of the Bondurant brothers in this year's bootlegging drama Lawless. Dan seems to have taken lessons at the Vic Mackey School of Torture, showing the same sort of ruthlessness that Michael Chiklis displayed as the hard-nosed enforcer of FX's "The Shield."

The film introduces us to the core group dedicated to tracking bin Laden with Maya and skips through the years detailing various dead ends and red herrings before she finally stumbles upon a single name: Abu Ahmed. He's a courier for the Al-Qaeda mastermind, and Maya thinks that if she finds Ahmed, she'll find bin Laden. But pressure from the government higher ups and random bombings around the world (some hitting closer to home than she'd like) leave everyone scrambling to keep up, and only Maya is left thinking if they knock over this key domino, all the others will fall around it. It's as if she's caught in a season of "The Wire," filled with all of the ups and downs of a long term investigation told briskly in under three hours. Where Bigelow and Boal kept us at arm's length through the eyes of the unhinged protagonist in The Hurt Locker, they totally pull the audience into the story here, and Chastain's powerful lead performance steers the story toward its inevitable conclusion (while at the same time revealing how scarily close that outcome came to never happening at all).

I'd say this role is a star-making performance for Chastain as well, but after her amazing 2011 (in which she starred in seven theatrical films in a single year), the truth is she's already a star. Her work here ranks among her finest performances so far, as she exudes dedication and strong-willed resolve to follow her gut even when everyone turns against her. I could spend an entire separate review heaping praise on the amazing supporting cast, but with names like Mark Strong, Joel Edgerton, Chris Pratt, Kyle Chandler, Edgar Ramirez, Mark Duplass, James Gandolfini, Harold Perrineau, and Jennifer Ehle in the mix, there are too many people in that list that I love, and it would take far too long.

I've heard some complaints in the critical community deriding the choice to open the film with a 9/11 callback, with the thrust of these complaints being along the lines of: "We get it. We know how bad bin Laden was and how terrible 9/11 was. Why does that need to be in the movie?" But I'd like to defend the choice to open the film with that audio montage. For those of us who lived through 9/11, we all bring our own memories and experiences into the theater when we sit down to watch Zero Dark Thirty. By keeping the screen black and just playing audio, it allows us to visualize our own memories about that terrible day and puts us back in that mindset to understand the villain that we're about to spend the next two and a half hours chasing. But also keep in mind that this film will outlive us all, and for audiences in the next generation who don't have vivid recollections of where they were, what they were doing, and what they saw that day, this montage sets the stage for those viewers; by using real voices on those phone calls and not just actors, it gives the film a sense of importance separate from the simple "based on a true story" that your average sports drama might receive.

The final scene, an almost real-time retelling of SEAL Team Six breaking into bin Laden's Pakistani fortress and actually doing the deed, plays at times like a haunted house film. The general public still doesn't know much about what exactly happened inside that compound, so Bigelow and Boal insert a few jump scares here and there (nothing too egregious) and take that opportunity to give the audience a couple of surprises in a film in which we otherwise essentially know how everything else plays out. It's shot in night vision and evokes the same kind of disconnected intensity of The Hurt Locker, and unlike Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds - which let audiences get collective catharsis through the revisionist history of watching Hitler absolutely annihilated by machine gun fire - Zero Dark Thirty barely shows its villain during his assassination. Since we spend the whole movie looking at the search for bin Laden through Maya's eyes, the film's real money shot isn't a bullet to his head; it's seeing her identifying the body and watching the weight lifted from her shoulders in the movie's closing moments.

Even though I really liked Zero Dark Thirty, I'm hoping Bigelow steps away from war movies for a little while after two back-to-back efforts in that genre and continues to stretch her directing muscles elsewhere. The calculated way in which she stages that final raid is technically impressive, but it lacks the soul that the rest of the movie has. She's at her best when dealing with characters, not events. But she's having quite the run late in her career, and with ZDT being a frontrunner for Best Picture at the upcoming Academy Awards, two wins could cement her as the voice of a generation chronicling American forces' activities overseas. But even if she spends the rest of her life making war movies, she'll always be the director of Point Break to me. Which, in case that wasn't clear, is totally a good thing. Until next time... Ben's Movie Reviews

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Side Effects

Side Effects

Steven Soderbergh remains one of the great cinematic chameleons behind the camera, able to craft a convincing heist thriller with as much apparent ease as an introspective story of male strippers or a multi-tiered drug drama. And while you might think you know what Side Effects is about, Soderbergh expertly guides us through the twisty plot and uses some clever surprises to keep us guessing, making this a much more enjoyable experience than the uninspired trailers make it out to be.

Side Effects
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Starring: Rooney Mara, Jude Law, Channing Tatum, Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's a shame that this is Soderbergh's last theatrical release before his retirement (although for HBO subscribers, he does have the Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra hitting the small screen this year). The director seems to have found a very interesting second wind in the past couple of years with movies like Contagion, Haywire, and Magic Mike, and while there isn't much that thematically ties those projects together, they're all unmistakably Soderbergh films. He reteams with Contagion writer Scott Z. Burns here, and while Side Effects appears on the surface to be a similarly cold exploration of pharmaceutical drugs and their effects on humanity, the film is surprisingly much more of a mystery noir that just happens to use medicine as a backdrop.

The story follows a young woman (Rooney Mara) who suffers from depression after her husband (Channing Tatum) gets out of prison in the wake of a four year stint for insider trading. She visits a therapist (Jude Law), who meets with her previous doctor (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and he prescribes her some medication, which has some devastating effects on her marriage. The therapist gets caught in the aftermath, and as his life falls apart around him, he has to figure out what went wrong before he loses everything and everyone that's important to him. I realize that summary sounds very vague and potentially boring, but I'm omitting large parts of the story in order to preserve the viewing experience for you; when a movie's marketing doesn't automatically give everything away, I figure I don't have the right to do so in my review in case you haven't seen the movie yet.

The film broaches some interesting and topical material concerning the responsibility doctors have for their patients' behavior, the moral grey zone of participating in pharmaceutical testing, the difference between being guilty and committing a crime, and much more. I was all ready for another Contagion, but halfway through the film, this shifts to something totally different. While Contagion followed multiple characters and kept them all at a distance in favor of making a larger statement about the way the world would react to a global outbreak, Soderbergh and Burns give us a much more personal story here, manipulating our emotions by slowly leaking bits of information as the film churns forward. We're very much meant to feel certain things at certain times, and while being manipulated like that can often feel insincere, this felt very much like a classic thriller with Jude Law as a modern day Bogart tasked with solving a larger mystery before it's too late. Because of that shift, a lot of those compelling topics are brushed aside in favor of the narrative. (It's a good story, so I didn't mind too much, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there's another movie buried in here in which Soderbergh could really explore these issues without being sidelined.)

Mara plays the fractured, depressed lead role very well, and the actress has one of the best blank expressions in the industry. That doesn't sound complimentary - and isn't, really - but it actually works in her favor in this film. Soderbergh seems to bring out the best in Channing Tatum (who has been something of a muse as of late) and Catherine Zeta-Jones (who hasn't made a good movie in years), and he also secures another wonderful performance from Law as the conflicted therapist. It's a pretty tight story, and there isn't a lot of room for supporting performances outside of the main four, and in because of that it almost feels like it could have been a stage play almost as easily as a film. The camerawork is fine (and the alternating warm and cold lighting helps to identify Soderbergh's distinct aesthetic), but there's nothing about this movie that screams, "see this in a theater."

Side Effects is an intelligent, adult mystery that succeeds largely due to stylish direction, a good script, and solid acting, despite occasionally treading in conventional waters. This feels like the sort of mid-budget movie for adults that studios don't really make anymore. Open Road Films, who has a questionable track record since forming in 2011, seems to be a haven for this kind of lower to mid-budget fare, though, so hopefully they can continue to produce content like this and Joe Carnahan's The Grey and less like the Wayans spoof A Haunted House. Until next time...  Ben's Movie Reviews

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Download Texas Chainsaw 3D Full Movie Free

Download Texas Chainsaw 3D Full Movie Free

Download Texas Chainsaw 3D Full Movie Free. Hollywood's 2013 released Horror, Mystery, Thriller film Texas Chainsaw 3D is Directed by John Luessenhop. A young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.

    

 5.2

Texas Chainsaw 3D Movie

Genres: Horror | Mystery | Thriller
Official Sites: Official Facebook | Official Facebook
Release Date: 4 January 2013 (USA)
Also Known As: ???????? ????? 3
Budget: $ 8,000,000 (estimated)
Runtime: 92 min
Rated R for strong grisly violence and language throughout

Storyline:

Texas Chainsaw 3D Full Movie Free Download. After the first massacre in 1974, the townspeople suspected that the Sawyer family were responsible. A vigilante mob of enraged locals surrounded the Sawyer house, burning it to the ground and killing every last member of the family. Decades later a young woman named Heather learns that she has inherited a Texas estate from her grandmother. she decides to bring her friends along on the road trip to invesitgate her inheritance. On arrival she uncovers she has inherited a mansion but is yet to uncover the terrors that lurk in the basement below it.

Source: IMDb, Wikipedia

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Parker

Parker

Parker is the latest film to feature author Richard Stark's literary character on the big screen, though it's surprisingly the first to actually refer to him as "Parker." Mel Gibson played the same dude in Payback but he went by "Porter," Lee Marvin's character was called "Walker" in Point Blank, and now it's Jason Statham's turn to play the career criminal with a chip on his shoulder. But regardless of the name, this movie couldn't make the lead character interesting or memorable, leaving Statham and the rest of the cast trudging through an anemic script under a director with no sense of style.

Parker
Director: Taylor Hackford
Starring: Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Wendell Pierce

Parker (Statham) is your standard thief who lives by a code - don't steal from those who can't afford it, and don't hurt innocent people - and he's been living like this for a long time. He loves his wife (or girlfriend, not sure if that was ever made explicitly clear) but her father (Nick Nolte) has no problem hooking him up with potentially easy scores around the country. The film opens with one of these, a convoluted heist at a state fair in Ohio from which the team (including Michael Chiklis, Wendell Pierce, Clifton Collins, Jr. and one other not-so-famous guy) barely escapes with their loot. But when Parker doesn't agree to donate his share of the spoils toward a bigger gig the gang has coming up, they shoot him and leave him for dead on the side of the road. Big mistake.

But after a halfway decent set-up, the movie begins to drag and never picks back up. Parker begins to initiate a series of moves that make little to no sense for someone of his supposed intellect, the worst of which includes him wearing a cowboy hat, speaking with one of the worst Texas accents I've ever heard and creating an elaborate backstory for this Texan character in order to discover where his former teammates purchased a house in West Palm Beach, Florida, so he can exact his revenge. Of course, the annoying real estate agent (Jennifer Lopez) gets caught in the mix, and while these sorts of intricate plot details might work in the pages of a crime novel, the story beats translate horribly to the pace of an action film.

The thing about most movies is that we've likely seen the basic plot in another film somewhere else, and that might be doubly true for action movies. So when another familiar story comes into theaters, one of the surefire ways to get movie lovers to check it out is to shake things up a bit with the presentation. There was a time when you used to be able to cast a superstar and that would be enough to bring people in. But even though The Last Stand (another action film currently in theaters) featured the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the studio still hired Korean director Kim Jee-woon because his kinetic visual style would spice up the screenplay a little. Hiring Jason Statham indicates the studio wanted a certain type of movie, but bringing on director Taylor Hackford (Ray, The Devil's Advocate) was not the person to actualize that vision.

Discounting 2010's Love Ranch - because, really, who's ever heard of that movie? - Hackford hasn't made a feature film since 2004's Ray, and it seems that he's lost whatever touch he may have once had. Parker is completely passionless, and even the sequences that should be exciting (the occasional heist and action climax) are devoid of anything compelling. Hackford is the current president of the Director's Guild of America and has eighteen credits to his name, so it's clear he knows the technical aspects of putting a film together; that being said, you can practically feel his apathy oozing through the screen, seemingly infecting every performance and filmmaking decision along the way. Even the moments in which the film desperately tries to try to comment on something vaguely engaging - a hamfisted Robin Hood metaphor here, a critique about the decadence of the rich there - all fall flat.

Chief among this film's many faults, though, was casting Jennifer Lopez in a lead role. Her character is a walking disaster, but you can't blame that on Jenny from the block. (The blame for that, and the rest of this godawful script, falls on writer John J. McLaughlin.) Lopez is simply miscast, never imbuing her character with a personality or the emotional heft needed for us to care about what happens to her. Maybe hiring her was political, or maybe the studio thought her presence would ensure a specific audience quadrant, but her work here feels about as cold as the decision to bring her on board. The audience is supposed to be invested in whether or not she ends up with Statham's character, but the movie's dull narrative and cliched plot points stacked the deck against her; any actress would have had to have possessed an incredible amount of charm and screen presence to breathe life into that character, and Lopez has nothing of the sort.

The supporting cast is rounded out by people whose work I respect and admire in other things, but they're all totally wasted here. Michael Chiklis, who was a force to be reckoned with as the morally complex Vic Mackey on FX's "The Shield," is reduced to a second-rate bruiser without a brain. Wendell Pierce, who played the terrific Bunk Moreland on HBO's "The Wire," is relegated to a leering idiot who speaks maybe ten lines in the whole film. Clifton Collins, Jr.'s character has even less personality and even less to say and do. It's like the casting director thought the same thing we did - "hey, these guys are good, let's get them!" - but they all forgot to read the script before signing on. Or again, perhaps they felt pressured to work with Hackford because of his position in the DGA. Either way, the fact that I'm talking about this and can't tell you one interesting thing that any of these people did in the whole film tells you all you need to know about how effective they are as characters.

I'd like to respond in advance to any criticisms in the vein of "what did you expect? It's a Jason Statham movie?" by pointing out that just because Statham leads a film doesn't mean it has to be bereft of value. The Bank Job isn't great, but it's not a total slog to sit through like Parker, and last year's Safe was actually one of the better movies he's toplined even though its premise was far dumber than this film's. Parker should have been an enjoyable heist flick, but thanks to some miserable decision-making on nearly every conceivable level (even the score, production design, and costumes are subpar), it's instead the sort of pathetic attempt that just makes you feel sorry for those involved. Until next time... Ben's Movie Reviews

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The Last Stand

The Last Stand

Watching The Last Stand is like pouring a shot glass full of a classic western, dropping it into a full glass of Red Bull, and chugging the whole concoction. Korean director Kim Jee-woon makes his English language debut here, and his first Hollywood effort is brimming with frenetic pacing and a plot that's so brilliantly simplistic, it's sort of shocking it hasn't been done before. Sure, we've seen "stand off" movies in the past, but few have the kind of furious energy, lighthearted humor, and focused vision that Jee-woon brings to the table. In short, The Last Stand is fast-paced, action-packed, and a total blast.

The Last Stand
Director: Kim Jee-woon
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Johnny Knoxville, Forest Whitaker, Luis Guzman, Jaimie Alexander

Barring a couple small appearances in the Expendables movies, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been out of the acting game for nearly ten years; color me surprised, then, that Arnold doesn't miss a step when returning to the genre that he so dominated in the 80s and 90s. His advanced age serves as the fodder for some occasional jokes in this film, but the guy is still incredibly capable for a 65-year-old. Everything you liked about him back then, he still has: the charming lughead persona, the inability to pronounce a few English words correctly, and, of course, the larger-than-life screen presence. Most of his huge action moments come around the third act, but they're worth the wait. Where the script lacks in iconic one-liners, it makes up for with creative and crowd-pleasingly ridiculous kills as we watch Arnie and Co. send the bad guys to meet their makers.

Schwarzenegger plays Ray Owens, a sheriff in a small, sleepy American town that borders Mexico. He used to work narcotics in the L.A.P.D., but sh*t hit the fan and he headed for a more quiet life elsewhere. Surrounded by well-meaning (but mostly untrained) fellow officers played by Luis Guzman, Jaimie Alexander, and Zach Gilford, as well as a local gun lover played by Johnny Knoxville, Owens and his unlikely crew become the last line of defense when a notorious cartel leader (Eduardo Noriega) escapes the clutches of the FBI (led by Forest Whitaker) and tries to race a souped-up sports car from Vegas down across the border. It's a modern western - High Noon by way of Neveldine/Taylor - but in lesser hands, it would have felt tired and played out. Thankfully, it's in the hands of the man who made the terrific Korean western The Good, The Bad, The Weird.

Jee-woon isn't afraid to go overboard with violence, and in fact the movie gets relentless during some of the firefights between evil henchman and unprepared lawmen and in its cartridge-filled climax. But after seeing Tarantino's latest opus Django Unchained and that film's usage of practical effects and squibs, situations in The Last Stand are almost cartoonish in comparison because it uses mostly digital blood added in post-production, removing some of the realism from the story. 

To be fair, realism doesn't seem like it was high on anyone's list of priorities for this film...and that totally works. After all, this is a movie in which a bad guy sneaks up on two speeding FBI SUVs in a sports car, does a 180 in front of one of them, slams on the brakes, and ramps one of them off the front of his own car for the other to crash into. There are a few "holy sh*t" moments like that, and most induce laughter at how outrageous they are. It reminds me a lot of some of Arnie's big 90s action movies: bombastic and preposterous, yes, but also sort of endearing how hard the filmmakers tried to give us moments we haven't seen before.

There's also a decent amount of humor, led mostly by Schwarzenegger's deadpan reactions to things and the amusing supporting cast, which serves to balance the tone when things occasionally get dark. Many of the townsfolk conveniently leave to follow the local high school football team to an away game during the weekend of this big showdown, but the people who stay behind (including a particularly no-nonsense granny) also provide some of the movie's biggest laughs. Perhaps there's something to be said about the homegrown justice being doled out by gun-toting locals in this movie in the wake of the mass gun murders that have happened in America over the past few months, but I'll side with Schwarzenegger's feelings on the matter: guns in entertainment are separate from tragedies of real events, and films shouldn't be blamed for the actions of people who are mentally unstable.

Frankly, I had my doubts going into this film about whether or not Schwarzenegger could successfully come back after being away from acting for so long. But if he continues to team with visionary directors who consistently elevate material and writers who can craft stories that play to his strengths, then it's possible audiences will return to see a former relic of the action genre come back to shake things up a bit. Everyone loves an underdog story, and while in some respects his character's story in The Last Stand is a good metaphor for Arnold's own career trajectory, I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of The Governator. Until next time... Ben's Movie Reviews

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Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Full Movie Watch Or Download

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Full Movie Watch Or Download

                       Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Full Movie Watch Or Download

Director: John Luessenhop

Stars: Alexandra Daddario, Tania Raymonde, Scott Eastwood, Trey Songz

THE BUZZ: The Sawyer family legacy has been carved up into separate remakes, prequels, and reboots, but it hasn't stopped Lionsgate from picking up the rights and creating a new movie that explores what the town of Newt, Texas did in the wake of Leatherface's notorious killing spree. Unsurprisingly, there's a Saw-like theme running through the plot, which was handed out freely at the American Film Market and widely distributed online, where it was met with collective indifference.

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Malcolm and Keisha move into their dream home, but soon learn a demon also resides there. When Kisha becomes possessed, Malcolm - determined to keep his sex life on track - turns to a priest, a psychic, and a team of ghost-busters for help. 

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Dave returns to his hometown on the Massachusetts coast for his father's funeral, where his reunion with two old friends provides a healthy dose of reality. 

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